This week’s edition of 90min’s Definitive European Power Rankings is brought to you by The Simpsons – Treehouse of Horror.
Famalicão (Down 6)
“Aye, this chair be high, says I.”
14) Atalanta (Re-Entry)
“We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.”
Despite the harrowing 5-1 defeat at the hands of Manchester City in the UEFA Champions League, Atalanta are still moving forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards the top of Serie A.
This past week, they twirled their way to a 2-2 draw away to SSC Napoli, and a whopping 7-1 win over Udinese.
13) Borussia Monchengladbach (Re-Entry)
12) Ajax (Re-Entry)
11) RB Leipzig (-)
10) Benfica (Re-Entry)
“These monsters are destroying everything and everyone we hold dear! And you kids should have jackets on.”
These monsters are destroying everything and everyone we hold dear!
They’ve already knocked DEPR favourites
9) Granada (Up 6)
8) Bayern Munich (Up 2)
Leicester City (Re-Entry)
“Well class, the history of our country has been changed again. To correspond with Bart’s answers on yesterday’s test. America was now discovered in 1942 by…’Some Guy’. And our country isn’t called America anymore. It’s ‘Boner Land.'”
Well, last Friday night, Leicester City made some history:
6) Inter (Down 1)
“Well we hit a little snag when the universe sort of collapsed on itself. But Dad seemed cautiously optimistic.”
So the 2-2 draw with Parma at San Siro was a little snag, as was Antonio Conte’s insistence that, without reinforcements, Inter will drop off sooner rather than later.
But after their win over Brescia, and Beppe Marotta’s confirmation that the club will make some signings in January, Inter fan are cautiously optimistic that they can keep pace with Juventus and win their first trophy in…*check’s Day Since Inter Won A Trophy*…3077 days.
5) Barcelona (Up 2)
4) Juventus (Down 3)
3) Manchester City (Up 3)
“Good morning, everybody. Panic is gripping Springfield as giant advertising mascots rampage through the city. Perhaps it’s part of some daring new ad campaign, but what new product could justify such carnage? A cleanser? A fat-free fudge cake that doesn’t let you down in the flavour department like so many others? Would…D-ooh! Let me go…no! Stop! No!“
Good morning, everybody. Panic is gripping England as exceptionally talented footballers donning Manchester City jerseys rampage through the Premier League. Perhaps it’s part of some daring new Amazon show, but what tv show could justify such carnage? A docuseries? a 30 for 30 rip-off that doesn’t give you a genuine insight into the athletes?
2) Paris Saint-Germain (Up 1)
“For a superior race, they really rub it in.”
Paris Saint-Germain’s last five games:
Goals Scored: 17
Goals Conceded: 1
Goal Difference: +16
We get it PSG, you’re really good, stop rubbing it in.
1) Liverpool (Up 1)
“Take this object. But beware – it carries a terrible curse.
“Oo, that’s bad!”
“But it comes with a free frogurt.”
“The frogurt is also cursed.”
“But you get your choice of topping.”
“The toppings contain potassium benzoate…That’s bad.”
You’ve qualified for the quarter finals of a cup competition – but it’s the Carabao Cup.
Oo, that’s bad!
But your Under-18s beat Arsenal’s first team to do so.
They also conceded five.
You can now win five trophies this season.
You may not be able to play your Carabao Cup quarter final because of fixture congestion.
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